Scar Tissue

As I have said before everything happens for a reason. By commenting about my pain on my facebook page and talking about my past problems with adhesions it has open up the problem to other hydro peeps about adhesions.

So I feel like if this had to happen its for a good reason. I'm still crossing my fingers it will stop hurting. But as I woke up this morning I still have the catch in my shoulder that is pulling all the way down in my side.

It feels like a sharp spike sticking me when I move. When I eat it gets tighter. Its like a constant catch in my side.

Part of my support team isn't here for me now and it feels strange. The child taken from me worried about me checked on me constantly. It feels strange to not have her here. She has talked to me many many times to take my mind off being in the ER.

Brain Tumor Support group meeting

I was hoping to post on my blog this morning about this great group I've found locally but for the forty tenth time I have missed this meeting once again.

You would think I could make it to a meeting that only meets once a month. But every Thursday this meeting rolls around for me I have a Doctors appointment or for several months I've just been too weak from pressure being too low.

I was sure I would be able to make it last night. I had a doctors appointment but I've had surgery now. I was going to come home to rest after the appointment.

My alarm went off to get up to get ready for the meeting and I was just beat. So I'm disappointed I didn't get to go last night.

Yesterday was a test

One of my favorite things to do is visit Pigeon Forge. Since it's just an hour and a half from my house. I love going over for dinner and to shop at a place or two then return home or going through Cade's cove.

I use to take weekend trips with my ex and enjoy going to Dollywood but my energy wont hold up for that these days.

Yesterday thinking the short way through the curvy mountains would be worse on my head we too the longer way going which has more elevated mountains. That was not a good idea. it made my headache really bad and brought on tremmors I had not seen in several months since I started on the Topamax.

The way back we came through the mountains and I had the headache but it was much less. So that was a good lesson.

It has been a long time

Fatigue is still my enemy. But it is nothing near what it has been in the past. When I had the faulty shunt for that year (actually 14 months) I barely had energy to go to the bathroom. I would hold back drinking water because I knew I would need to go.

I moved in with my parents for the most of the 14 months. It was just easier for them to take care of me.

After the dentist appointment when I started having over drainage. I had pain and nausea I was sure I was in shunt failure. The pain was so bad I was hospitalized one time right after the dentist appointment and had to return to the ER 3 different times.

It was found in a CT from the beginning I was over draining and causing my vents to become extremely small. I needed a final test to confirm the CT results before I could have surgery.

I knew my vents were probably slit but I was in constant fear that they would collapse and this would be really bad. I would have no spinal fluid to cushion my brain at all. I was already in so much pain I constantly stayed in bed lying flat (to slow down the fluid from draining anymore off my brain causing worse pain)

This was not something I could decide not to do one day or just get up and go to the store. My life was on hold for four months. I did not leave my house unless I was going to the ER cause I could not deal with the fetal position headache plus I was not certain the vents had not collapsed.

Thank Goodness for my black berry because I couldn't sit up to do anything on the computer. I got real good at blogging from my phone (which is what I'm doing now) I googled about anything and even learned to comment on my friends blogs from my black berry.

My fatigue was the worst though. I knew the longer I had to wait for surgery the worse my fatigue would get and I was getting out of shape not being able to swim and exercise. Its a months later and I'm still fighting fatigue. But I am also still trying to still adjust to this new system. I only have pain(head rush like fluid rushing to my head with pain) and dizziness when I bend over,change directions and get out of cars.

I do have light headaches but nothing near where they were. I think I will adjust to the system in time. I'm just really wanting my energy back.

I had a great weekend with my niece but I have been doing a lot of extra sleeping to recover from our fun.

adjusting to Anti siphon pressure

I had a great weekend with my niece (cousin) this weekend. I really challenged my anti siphon device by doing a lot of thing I had not been able to in so long.

My niece spent the weekend with me we went riding 4 wheelers,built a bon fire told stories,laughed until my stomach hurt,had a cook out and watched movies.

At 11 year old she has stuck by me during my illness and give me comfort. She has more compassions for my illness and wants to learn more about it. She is very aware of my pain and my limits.

I was so proud of her how much she helped me this weekend. I would not have been able to do nearly half the things I did without her.

My headaches are not so bad these days but movement still causes head rushes. If I bend over or turn I feel dizzy and feel like all the blood is rushing to my head and will have pain or a headache that goes with it until the pressure adjusts.

My niece was great to help me from having to take the extra turns and bending over to do things.

I'm so proud how mature she is growing up to be.

I wish I had a picture of her cuddling and sleeping with Pepper.

I've always wanted friends that were protective

I have recently returned to swimming after 4 months. I have found they are making crazy rule changes and other things. I hope the issues don't get to far into my blog. But one is we can't leave early.

With just returning from surgery I can't keep up with the class and will step out or swim to the lap side to get out of the way.

I actually had an instructor smart off to me when I politely told her I would have to step out early.

My reply to her was my reason was because of brain surgery!

Well I went on did as much of the class as I could and did just as I told her stepped out went I got shaky.

My friends encouraged me as usual maybe a bit louder that day. That told me they could tell I was getting stronger.

As I was getting out of the water the trainer was suddenly concerned. She wanted to know all about the scars she looked over just ban hour ago.

I was telling my friend Jane how she belittled me and made me feel like that little girl I use to be. She told me how she and about 5 other women talked to her.

I had told my mom someone had my back.